That which we call a rose, by any other name, would smell as sweet.
Wm. Shakespeare
Scientists have documented the cultivation of roses dating back nearly 5,000 years. According to Greek mythology, roses symbolized eternal love. When Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love, wept over the mortally wounded Adonis, her tears were transformed into roses as they struck the ground. Roses appear in accounts from all of the world’s major religions. Muslims view roses as symbols of the human soul. Hindus and Buddhists see roses as expressions of spiritual joy. And the rose appears in Dante’s Divine Comedy, where it represents God’s love.
The life span of a rose bush is usually about 15 years according to New Mexico State University. However, it is not unheard of for a rose bush to live for 35-50 years if it is properly cared for. Roses wither under serious competition. They don’t like crowds; they need a little breathing room. Ideally, rose bushes flourish best when given space to themselves in the garden and ongoing, focused attention.
Relationships are a lot like rose bushes:
- some never blossom
- some bloom for a season or two and then quickly die off
- some have 15-20 year runs with beautiful blossoms and then fizzle out
- and then, there are those that become iconic and go on FOREVER: they live and blossom for 35-50 years; they last forever by inspiring countless others; they are the ones songs, poems & movies are made about.
The ones that never blossom just aren’t meant to be. The chemistry, environment and timing are all wrong; there is not enough compatibility for survivability.
The ones that only bloom for a season or two usually die off because they just never really take root, often because of immaturity and competition.
Great rose bushes, and relationships, that tend to fizzle out do such due to complacency, a resting on one’s laurels. The habits that originally led to 15-20 years worth of beautiful blossoms gradually get neglected and forgotten while basking in the memories of former glories. There always seems to be an overwhelming array of other things competing for time and attention.
In order for magic to happen, more effort must be expended the further along time goes. Once great rose bushes that have fizzled out can be salvaged and brought back into blossoming again but it takes a lot of focused effort to do so. The same thing holds true for relationships. Jordan Peterson, clinical psychologist, stated during an interview on Femsplainers, “You have to work at it… You have to make time for each other… More effort is necessary after you’re married than beforehand…. If you don’t make it a priority, then it won’t happen.” Taken to the negative extreme, the legal term for it is “constructive abandonment,” where one spouse leaves the marriage in spirit and it is grounds for divorce because it is considered a form of cruel and inhumane treatment.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away
Ecclesiastes
It’s never too late to start over, with the one you’re already with if they’re open and willing to put in the work and, if not, then with someone new.
by jon m ketcham
You Don't Need A Bribe To Join My Tribe...
No whiz-bang reports. No "Secret" Strategies. I won't beg and cajole you. Just an invitation...Come, let's walk this journey called "life" together. Once a month or so, you'll get an update with insights and excerpts of our journey. Go ahead, make it official.. Let's walk this journey as one.
