How To Find Inner Peace Without Caving To Outside Noise!
In biology, molting is a process whereby an animal such as a snake will shed their old skin once it gets too tight for them. As it outgrows their old skin, a snake will be compelled to rub their head against rough surfaces, causing the already stretched skin to split and peel backwards on itself, similar to taking your socks off inside-out, until the snake can then crawl out entirely. This process repeats on a regular basis as the snake continues to mature and grow. (1) How many of you could honestly profess to being comfortable in your own skin? Judging from the surging popularity of cosmetic surgeries, weight-loss supplements, extreme exercise programs and the like, I would venture to say that it is very few indeed!
So many of us live our lives based around worrying about what other people will think of us. But, according to Dr. Daniel Amen, psychologist and author of Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, they may not be thinking of you as much as you like to think! Dr. Amen refers to what he calls the “18/40/60 Rule” which goes as follows: at age 18, you worry about what everybody thinks of you; at age 40, you don’t care what anybody thinks of you; at age 60, you realize that nobody was thinking that much of you anyways! (2)
“Someone’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.”
Les Brown (3)
In other words (mine, actually), during Stage I (age 18), we are seeking approval from others. We are wanting to comply and conform to the wishes and expectations of others. During Stage II (age 40), we begin to live our lives in defiance of the wishes and expectations of others. We rebel. Finally, during Stage III (age 60), we begin to live our lives solely for ourselves. This is not a selfish stage; rather, it is about finally being true to who we are. Recognizing our own mortality, we begin to take our lives off of hold and listen to our own inner longings.
While the “18/40/60 Rule” is a good “rule of thumb,” many never make it past Stage II (age 40). In fact, some don’t even make it past Stage I (age 18). There is an old African proverb that states, “If there’s no enemy within, the enemy outside can do you no harm.” (4) Who would/could you be if you made the shift TODAY to Stage III?!? Who are you really? Do you even really know?
There are actually 2 prongs to this: being who you are AND allowing others to be who they are; not pressuring others to conform to our ideals or spurring their rebellion by our attempts. Are you secure enough in who you are to allow others to be who they are? In self-acceptance, and subsequent acceptance of others as they already are, lies the key to centering our lives and making ALL of our dreams come true! Just remember, no one will value you until you value yourself! Likewise, no one can truly love you until you love yourself. So, how about it?
Dr. Jon M. Ketcham
Author iContractor 1 & Dream re-Kindler to Earth-bound Travelers of Light
Bibliography
(1) Wikipedia
(2) Experts Industry Association Conference, November 2011
(3) Live Full & Die Empty (DVD)
(4) Live Full & Die Empty (DVD)
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